terrshee's Diaryland Diary

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Back to Work. Back to Blah.

I had a weird dream last night about my former boss (a woman for whom I have nothing but respect and liking) being forced to chide me for my lousy performance at work. I guess my conscience is getting the better of me.

I know I haven't been working very hard, but then I haven't had much on which to work. There are no projects in my queue and everything new has to be generated by me, and then goes into what my current boss calls "the great black hole of possibilities" where they languish unused, unwanted and/or misunderstood. Or I will suddenly find out I have been expected to accomplish something that was never actually assigned to me. No wonder I feel so damned trapped. My sense of guilt and responsibility won't let me off the hook in either case.

So today I will try to spend a little time rethinking yet again what I can do to suport a company that doesn't know what it wants. Whatever my feelings of (dis)satisfaction it doesn't change that I make a very good living here and I owe it to them to give them my best efforts.

And this week's movie review: The Kingdom of Heaven. It is neither as bad as one might fear or as good as one might hope, but on balance you have to give Ridley Scott credit for knowing how to represent the horrors and costs of human violence. The fighting is as compelling as anything I've seen on screen and its impact on the people who witness it isn't shorted. As history, the liberties are too many to please me, but I have to be realistic and say that the average moviegoer wouldn't be able to tell what was wrong, although some of the plot progressions were rather silly, if not stupid. The costumes were excellent, the casting superb, the whole look and feel convincing. I have a feeling that the extended version on DVD would fill in a lot of the the things that seemed too abrupt or strange in how the movie gets from point A to point B. Anyway, it is epic enough that it is worth a trip to the theater.

6:50 a.m. - 2005-05-09
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