terrshee's Diaryland Diary

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I'm Toast

I have to crunch some numbers, but it looks very much like I am not going to pass college algebra. I'm toast.

Last night I got the last take-home test back. I had thought I'd done decently. Nope. A frickin' 64 out of 100. This is a take-home test. A no pressure, open book take-home test. If I can't do well on this, how the hell can I manage an in-class final that counts as 40% of my grade?

In comparing grades with some of my classmates, their first reaction is, Huh? But you seem to understand this so well in class. Which I do, as long as everything is spelled out in front of me. It just won't stay in my brain. Sorry, but the Principle of Zero Products just doesn't have sufficient relevance to my work to make it retainable. By force of will I can recite the Quadratic Formula, but I guarantee it will be gone by Jan. 1.

Their second reaction is, you should get together with some other people to study. I can't see how that would help. Problems have to be worked out alone, not in groups, in order to pass the tests. And nice as some of these people are, they can't improve my ability to retain what won't go in in the first place. In order to get help, you have to know what to ask for. I can't even begin to express where I'm lost.

The thing that is really distressing me is the prospect of having to take the class over. Aside from the expense, I cannot imagine sitting through another 16 weeks of this tedium and frustration. And, no, it won't be easier a second time. In fact it will be worse because I'll be sitting there thinking I should know this stuff. I honestly don't think I can face it.

Ah well, 'tis a short week at work, I'll have dinner with friends Thursday, a visit with Mom Friday, and the pleasure of seeing The Comedy of Errors on Sunday. Since I'll be downtown, I can have lunch at my favorite Bistro D'Oc. Eggs Benedict sounds very food-comforting right now.

The calendar tells me I'm two days short of my sobriety date. Whopee. Is it five years? I lose track.

Everybody send KnitGeek a nice birthday message on Wednesday.

6:46 a.m. - 2005-11-22
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