terrshee's Diaryland Diary

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Fussy Today

I am calmer today, or is that merely exhausted from lack of sleep? I got up at 2:00 a.m. to write my plea/protest to my boss because I could not otherwise get my brain to stop planning everything I wanted to say. I think it is good, although I've sent it to one of my favorite reality checkers to make sure I haven't gone off the deep end.

I spent a while last night trying to make sure I am justified in my thinking. Addicts in recovery often refer to their "stinkin' thinkin'" or inability to actually precieve life in an undistorted manner. I'm never really sure what is a threat to my well being versus some old behaviorial pattern asserting itself. Most of the time it isn't a big deal, but this is my livelihood I could endanger.

Because I was working from home yesterday, I used my commute time to watch a movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? A couple of people had recommended it to me, but I'd resisted because I was under the impression it was poltical in nature. It isn't. It is about preceptions of reality on the quantum level of physics and how our brain chemistry affects our ability to create and interact with the world around us. Quite fascinating, really, and right up the alley my Jungian view of life. Some of it got a little too new age for my taste (having a chaneller as an expert?), but on the whole it was very solid stuff. But now I wonder how I manage to constantly shift in and out of existence on the quantum level while maintaining an identity. Or do I? How would I know if I am not the same person I was an instant ago?

I reinforced my speculations about the nature of reality by entering most of my psychology books on LibraryThing later. Damn, I used to know a lot about this stuff. Where did it go?

I also finally got the first episodes of the Battlestar Galactica series via Netflix. I'd liked the pilot; the series delivers on the promise and more. I'm very, very impressed. It is gritty and gripping and is solidly in the world of human drama. Can't wait for disk 2.

9:06 a.m. - 2005-12-09
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